Dear Past Me

The day after her mother came to visit, Kalimè sat in the cottage, thinking. One of her teachers once told her that it helps to get thoughts out of your head if you write them down. She gathered up her things and went out to the pond to write.

Dear younger me,
You don’t know this now, but the troubles are not done. Min’da and An’da still don’t have it right. More time skips are coming. You will be twenty-five when the last one happens. At least, as far as we can tell. Elune grant us this is all over.

If this is twelve year old me reading this, yes, Ælithil is a brat sometimes. But he loves you. All his snarky behavior is actually how he treats people he feels close to. It doesn’t really make sense, but it’s absolutely true. Before long, you and he will feel like you are the only ones who care for one another. Who understand each other. Remember that. And make sure An’da gets out of his sanctum once and a while. He needs to see the stars. Crawl up in his lap and make him tell you about his favorite stories. In a few years, he will be difficult to reach. He will pull away after the next skip and you won’t understand why. It isn’t anything you have done. But for him, the past few years didn’t happen. He only had two months. So every bit of closeness will be lost.

Fifteen year old me. You will be spending quite a bit of time with Uncle Foro and Aunt Tindo. Aunt Tindo will be teaching you how to cook. Pay attention? Please? I still can’t do it well and I really should have listened better. You have seven years before the next one. So much time to grow and love. You’re going to discover that some girls will not like your attentions. That they will think you are gross or weird. You will also lay eyes on the person who will capture your heart. Watch for her. She’s coming. And she isn’t as hard as she seems.

If you are twenty-two now, things just started to become difficult. This skip will change Ælithil. He won’t tell you why, but when it happens, something will be different. He will be angry and withdrawn. He will suddenly become very protective of you. Stick by him. He needs you. Min’da will be weird, but not completely unreachable. You on the other hand will face your own troubles. Dear Kali, you don’t have magic. You will never be like them and it’s ok! You will find your path. Uncle Foro will show you how to use your speed and grace. Trust him. And for the love of Elune, no matter how angry you are that you don’t have magic, find a good tattoo artist for your arm and scalp. If you are going to insist on traditional tattoos, make sure they are worth it! And if you don’t? An’da will fix them. But he will be very disappointed in the ink work.

You will push hard to get your right of passage early. They will allow it, only because of our House and fear of Uncle Foro. The first Patriarch and a Demon Hunter. They respect and fear him. If he tells them you are ready, then they will accept it. But it will be a couple of years. You will need some time to come to terms with who you are and what you are capable of. Min’da and An’da will be so proud of you. Cling to that moment. Because they will not remember it. Lock it in your mind like a treasure and never let it go. You are the only one who will have that memory in truth. Æl will explain to you why he doesn’t really remember it either.

The last skip will come when you are twenty-five. I won’t tell you when, because you might want to change it. And you can’t. By then, you and Min’da will be so close. She will have grown past the troubles she had and you will enjoy each other’s company. An’da will hug you in public, speak to you as if you are so very dear to him, with no fear of who hears it. They both think the skips are done. They have put their fears aside and enjoyed their family. The next one is going to hurt. A lot.

Some bad things are going to happen after the last skip. They will come out all right. It won’t seem like it at first, but when they do happen, trust that Elune is watching over us and will keep our family safe and together. Æl will find himself again. You will find real love. In a place you might not expect. But it’s there. Be open to it. Don’t give up on Min’da and An’da. They will come around. Good things are coming if you can just hang on.

You, years ahead, yet not.

She put down the quill. Whispering into the wind, she folded it a few times. Sticking it into her pocket, she started her chores. Life was good now, that much was certain.